Ab Ripper X Haiku- Part II

As I read the lines of Erik's poem, the truthiness of it moved me to tears...tears of pain that is. It just isn't fair. After working an hour lifting, pulling, grunting, and, let's face it, expelling gas all throughout the process, it just isn't fair to go, "Ok now let's blast your abs...because God hates you..."

Anywho, I just finished the marathon of pain for today and thought I would continue on the poem... (First three stanzas courtesy of Erik )

Oh Ab Ripper X
Could I hate anything more?
Let me think, um, no

Why must you tease me?
Rearing your head thrice weekly
Makes my tummy sick

With your Mason Twists
You mock me 'til I'm splayed out
Save me upward dog

But nothing can help
My abs are shredded to dust
And I want to die

Please mighty Odin
Destroy Tony with your spear
Lest tis time again

Alas, I but weep
As the crunchy frog destroys
God I have angered!

Amen...

-Thor

An Ab Ripper X Haiku

I just finished Shoulders and Arms AND Ab Ripper X. I HATE when that six-pack shows up right after I've finished what I thought was a great workout. It taunts me, saying "Alright you flabby, girly-man. That keg won't turn into a six-pack on it's own. It's time to BRING IT!" I hate it SO much, it's inspired a creative work of art. Out of anger, beauty is birthed. Enjoy!


Oh Ab Ripper X
Could I hate anything more?
Let me think, um, no

Why must you tease me?
Rearing your head thrice weekly
Makes my tummy sick

With your Mason Twists
You mock me 'til I'm splayed out
Save me upward dog

Week 3 - Plyometrics

Last night was Plyometrics or Jump Training. I definitely agree with Tony that this is "the mother of all workouts". I decided to record myself doing some of the exercises and thought you might enjoy the show...or...maybe it'll just make you sick. I'll let you be the judge.

P90X - Plyometrics from Erik Luchauer on Vimeo.

For anybody reading this that isn't familiar with P90X, it's basically 1 hour a day, 6-7 days a week, for 90 days. Everything in this video was repeated twice and you do each exercise in 30 second stints, one right after the other. There are only about 8 30-second breaks in the whole 1-hour video. It's INSANE! But it's also kinda fun.

If you want to know more about P90X, check out the links to the right.

I hope you brought it yesterday, Christopher. I'm ready to BRING IT on some Shoulders and Arms tonight. I also might be hitting up Dicks on Peters for some heavier weights. Ebenezer, where is thy sting?!

Yoga? Again? Fine...- Thor

First of all, I just want to point out that I have named myself as the thunder god. Now, seeing as I am going to post pics soon of my underdeveloped chest and overdeveloped gut...maybe not such a good move...you live and learn...

Anywho, did Yoga again today...still not a fan. I hurt and fall for an hour and a half and I look like crap doing it...other than that it's great. On the plus side, (and I hate to say this) I touched my toes for the first time in ever today...that's right...in ever! So I guess it's working...

Anywho, I didn't want to, but I brought it. And as my friend GI Joe would say, that is half the battle!

BRING IT!!!!!

-Thor

Week 2, Day 3 - Erik

So, I just finished disc 3 "Shoulders & Arms" and it's really hard to type. My arms feel SO heavy, like they're going to smoosh my laptop. Forget about all of the proper typing form that I learned WAY back in highschool. That's for little wimps with small, weak arms. I'm beefy!!

Mmmm...beef. I'm SO hungry right now. I guess I'll grab something to eat. Probably going to have some tuna fish with some crackers and cheese and maybe some hummus with carrots. Then, I'll top it off with a nice cold one. Hahah!! Just kidding. Water is it, I guess. B-o-r-i-n-g!!

I'm rocking out to Kings of Leon right now. This album, Only By The Night, is AMAZING. Why didn't I get this before now? I first heard of these guys over a year ago when they played at Bonnaroo. I didn't go, but a friend did and told me about how good they were. I sampled some stuff, but wasn't really feeling it then. I must have been deaf!

Hey! What am I doing? Writing a review for the Kings of Leon?! No! This is a P90X blog, dang it!! I have a tendency of overusing exclamation points! Sheesh!! I just can't end a sentence with a period! What's wrong with me?!!

Okay...enough rambling. Just wanted to say that I finished the workout for today. I actually also did the bonus stuff for this workout and also did the Ab Ripper X stuff afterward. Woof! I hope you brought it on this one, Christopher. I can't wait for Kenpo X. Gotta get mine in early before the big food coma I'm likely going to put myself in for Turkey Day!

It's Still Rotten Hole To Me

I've created a new post for this song. Christopher started with the first half of verse 1 and I completed the verse. We're going back and forth to complete the entire song. This will be the first song for our parody "band", Across The Pond.

It's Still Rotten Hole To Me
(To the Tune of It's Still Rock and Roll to Me)

VERSE 1

What's the matter with the poop I'm dropping
Can't you tell that it stinks so much
What's the matter with the gas I'm popping
Can't you see I just lost my lunch?

I don't remember eating anything crazy
What did you put in chili we ate, baby
Oh no, plug your nose, watch out, here it goes
It's still rotten hole to me

VERSE 2


BRIDGE


VERSE 3


BUTT TRUMPET SOLO (Instead of saxophone)


VERSE 4

Plyo My Oh My

Just got done with Plyometrics for week 2. Ugh! My butt cheeks are so tight you could...umm...never mind.

I guess they don't call it "The mother of all workouts" for nothing! This week was a little better for me too, I must admit. I still got crazy tired and looked like a Sissy Mary when I was doing the baseball throws. My left hand isn't worth sheeee. (my transaction sheeee) And I digress.

I feel good though. Sonya did the workout with me and made me do some abs afterward. That was killer!

It was hard getting started this week, since I practically took 3 days off last week. I'm such a slacker!! I didn't do anything on Wednesday, Friday or Sunday. I did sneak in Yoga on Thursday, though. Anyways...don't hate me, Christopher. I'm sticking it out this week. I'm going to try to do the videos first thing when I get home from work. Over the holidays, I'll be doing them first thing in the morning.

First Week Musings- Thor

As I start week 2 (proper week 2) I thought I would relate a few thoughts and see if Erik feels the same.

Today I did Day 1 again as per our schedule and here is what I am thinking:

1) I am stronger this week than last week. While not yet a beast (ok, let's be honest...I'll never be a beast...but a guy can dream...) I was still able to do a significant amount more this week than last week. Still not great (the dive bomber push ups had me mostly biting the dust and crashing to the floor in a very undignified manner) but more good pushups and better form.

2) I am finding it harder to get up and do it this week. The excitement of the first week has worn off and the grueling journey is ahead and I am finding the motivation a little less easy to come by than last week. Thankfully, Erik is doing this too and if I skipped out a day, I am not fully convinced that Erik wouldn't fly over to kick my Ebon Pinion.

3) I am a bit scared of 30 days. Let me explain. Erik and I have decided that we will post our before pics and the 30 days pics when we have done the first four weeks. While I feel stronger already, I don't see any difference yet and am a bit worried that 30 days will come and go and I will still look like a flabby girly man. I hope not, but the fear is there. (Oh, and by the way, if there isn't much difference, then you'd all better lie and say there is or I WILL fly over and kick your Ebon Pinion...Ebenezer style.)

So, that is what I'm all about now. Erik, I shall let you ruminate on your feelings as well. Same? Different? Are you just that much more of a man than I am? (I know you are...don't rub it in...)

However, I shall continue to bring it...for I am the thunder god!

-Thor

PS: Please post comments Sonya...it's becoming a bit of a sausage fest here. And I am determined to enjoy Yoga this week!

I hate Yoga- C

There...I said it.

I just don't like it!

Couldn't do the Yoga yesterday as left home at 7:30 and got home at midnight, so am a day behind and did yoga today. It went a little something like this:

As the alarm goes up, my head springs off the pillow. "Today is YogaX," I think, "and fun will be had by all".

I was wrong.

I stretched, I pulled, I held...at one point I was asked to balance my entire body on my forearms. I am not stretchy. I never have been stretchy. And, chances are, I will NEVER be stretchy. I do have great respect now for Yoga people as I sweated and was breathing almost as hard as I do in Kenpo. I was never meant to bend or hold that way...NEVER! So that is why I hate Yoga.

Looking forward to Kenpo again in a couple of days.

So I have now done 4 out 72 workouts in this 90 day endurance trial.

How do I feel?

Like a god.

And not one of the 1000 of the Hindu religion or even any part of the Christian Trinity.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I am Thor!

Day 1 - Erik

It's 11:20pm EST and I just finished the Chest & Back exercise for day 1 of P90X. This one totally kicked my butt. However, I feel like I did better than my first attempt at this workout, which I did during our "trial" week. We've decided to start this whole process over since we didn't know there was an actual schedule to follow. Christopher found this awesome, printable P90X calendar and worksheets from the Caustic Musings blog at maggiewang.com.

The Chest and Back video is crazy hard. I HATE pull ups...because I suck at them. I have to use a chair after 2, but I'm expecting to get better with time. The Ab Ripper X segment afterward, was the killer part of the workout. It was totally a core workout and I felt it in my thighs more than I did in my abs. Or...I guess I should say "ab". Maybe we should put our BEFORE pictures up here, Christopher?! Eesh!

Okay...best quote in this workout:

The bars will give you an extra six inches. That will let you go deeper.

That's what she said!

Anyways, I'm glad that we're starting this thing out right and can't wait to see how well we've done after 89 more days! Here's a terrible pic of how I look after I "bring it". I felt like I was about to "lose" it...if you know what I mean.

Day 1 - Christopher

Thus it begins. Today was chest and back. Push ups, pull ups...thy name is pain. Did real well until the end where I actually made good friends with the floor. It went a little something like this:

ME: (feet on chair, hands on ground, doing decline push up) Hello Mr. Floor, you look very inviting.

FLOOR: Oh, but I am. In fact, the best feeling is to just let your arms give way and meet me in a faceplant.

ME: A faceplant?! Won't that hurt?

FLOOR: Yes

ME: Sweet

(CRUNCH)

So after a much pain, massive amounts of grunting, and the occasional urge to punch the guy in the TV, I have finished day one of a 90 day program.

Will I be able to continue on in this gruelling feast of pain? Will my body rise to the challenge or will I collapse into a quivering ball of wuss-jelly by the end of the week?

Only time will tell.

Erik...I Brought It! You?

C

The Beginning

P90X

I'll let you absorb that for a second.

P90X...a workout so intense, it can only be described like a plane's call sign.

As I sit here, having completed two weeks (albeit erroneously...always read the instructions, children...they are there for a reason), my legs ache, my shoulders burn, and there is a strange feeling deep in my groin that I have never felt before...I think it's called pride...nope, groin ache... Nevertheless, as has been posted previously, let this humble online tapestry serve as the repository of the journey, nay the sojourn, towards buffness! (Starting properly monday...D@%N directions!

As Erik and I talked about, we shall also be working on songs that we find funny. It would be nice if you did as well, dear readers, but not necessary (please read: you are redundant). Here is the start of one that popped to mind at work the other day about the funniest of natural processes: The Flatuate

(To the Tune of It's Still Rock and Roll to Me)

What's the matter with the poop I'm dropping
Can't you tell that it stinks so much
What's the matter with the gas I'm popping
Can't you see I just lost my lunch?

Erik...I shall let you continue...

BRING IT!!!!!

Hello World

I feel like I'm programming in C++ back in college again! This is just a test blog post to make sure that my partner in crime, Christopher, gets a notification.

It's alive, my friend! It's ALIIIIVE!!!

We'll be using this blog to talk about how much we suck at P90X, maybe write a few songs and just talk smack about how each other's country is better than the others.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Christopher lives in London? Meanwhile I'm stuck here in his hometown of Knoxville, TN. It's common knowledge that Knoxville isn't really known for anything other than being Christopher's hometown.

Well, I guess the only thing I have left to say is...BRING IT!